Reproduction Quandary

I just saw "Children of Men" over the weekend and while I can't say it was entertaining per se, it certainly raised some uncomfortable questions for me. The movie (or the novel by P.D. James it was based on) posits that if humans were unable to reproduce, our societies would degenerate into chaos. Overall, the film was dark, dreary, depressing and violent, with a tiny window of hope. Dialogue was witty - I do love British humor; it's very dry and delivered straight-faced by the ubiquitous Clive Owen.

Anyhow, back to the question of reproduction. So if reproduction is our primary biological and sociological purpose, then what does that say about people who are unable or unwilling (like me) to reproduce?

I don't understand the urge to have children. I view it as a selfish desire to create a human being that will fulfill one or all of the following needs: to have someone love and need us unconditionally, to have someone we can mold and influence with our values and beliefs, to know a part of ourselves will continue on after we're gone. Every human being that I know has issues with their parents, so no matter how healthy and functional your family is, your children will become adults with all kinds of guilt and resentment towards you. I might consider adopting, but even that seems selfish - would I be doing it to provide a child with better opportunities so that I can feel like a hero? It doesn't really matter whether the child has my genes or not; I can still be acting from selfish motives and I can psychologically damage the child in an infinite number of ways that I won't even be aware of.

And then while we were at the bike shop the other day, I was reminded of a wooden seat my father made that he attached to his bike for me to be able to ride with him. It brought back all kinds of memories of my childhood and the lovely things my parents did for me and with me. Then I imagined what it must be like for them to remember me as a small, helpless child completely dependent upon them; and now I am a full-grown adult. That must be the craziest feeling/thought ever!

I don't know ... I say to people who have children or intend to have children: more power to you and good luck!